Monthly Archives: October 2012
I’m off to Hong Kong for a week of blowing off steam. Don’t worry, Steam’s just his nickname, he’s not a Paltrow child.
I’ll post as I can, but in the meantime, please enjoy this photo, in honor of my trip to Hong Kong.
According to this article* on MSN, Texas border patrol fond the following items on Nelly’s tourbus:
35 bags of heroine, Ziploc’d
1 bag of pot, small
1 loaded .45 calibre pistol
I think it’s obvious what went down here – a classic case of overpacking.
If you’re going to Texas, you need to have a gun. It’s the law. If you’re stopped by the police and don’t have one, the authorities will deport you… even if you were born here.
I’m sure this was the group’s first time packing heat, which is a stressful situation. So a little marijuana helps keeps the nerves in check. It was probably a choice between that or NyQuil, and Lord knows you shouldn’t operate heavy machinery on NyQuil.
And as we all know, pot is a gateway drug. So Neocons take note, 1 small bag of pot leads to exactly 36 Ziploc bags of heroine.
It’s a classic case. I mean, when I pack, I take four or five pairs of shoes. Maybe I’ll go running, or hiking, or clubbing, or to a Smack Attack Part-ay.
*The article notes that one of the other travelers on the tourbus admitted to all of these being his. Nelly and the rest of the crew are pure as the driven SNOW.
This is the most famous Zumba instructor on the planet.
I hear Donald Trump has already booked her for Season 10 to 25, but possibly 7 with good behavior.
Do you think the guys had to workout to get their diddle on?
If so, it’s not so much “prostitution” as it is “motivation”.
Instead of prosecution, maybe she should receive a Nobel Prize for solving the issue of growing obesity? Society always hates geniuses.
Of course, if she didn’t force them to workout first, then this is my idea and that prize money is mine, bitches.
This begs the question, “How DID they drill for this?”
I love this time of year, when there’s a holiday every week!
10/11 – National Coming Out Day
10/15 – National “Disown Your Son Day”
10/25 – National “Weenie Roast”
10/31 – Halloween!
I bet you thought I was going to insult Ann Coulter.
I don’t comment on Lizard People.
I find racism deplorable.
(check out GLAAD’s response to Ann at TowleRoad)
Above are the results to the question “Should the U.S. Legalize Gay Marriage” which was part of a larger ESPN survey.
There’s a lot of information here, but I’ll just say the one thing all gay people are thinking: “The NHL? That bunch of sissies? We’ll never break out of the flamer closet with them as our support squad.”
I mean, these guys stand around in the sun all day, their games get called because of rain, the never fight or get hurt. Hell, there’s rarely ever contact in their sport.
I found the following site through The Bloggess.
I’ll write more about my love of The Bloggess another time, but if you aren’t reading her, you should; and if you are reading her, you should read her more. And I mean nun-with-a-vow-of-silence-reading-The-Holy-Bible more.
But back to the topic at hand. Flux Machine is a gif site that raises the image file to an art form.
I enjoy hilarious gifs as much as anyone. A well placed double-take, baseball bat to the balls, or polar bear cub falling on ice can turn a dark day sunny. But artist, Kevin J Weir uses gifs to introduce a story – a visual poem, instead of a literary novel. These gifs made me stop and think, to consider certain symbolism, and ponder philosophies and the meaning of death.
So obviously now, I have nausea and a terrible headache. Some of us are not built for thinking, depth, or consideration of any sort. So be forewarned, if you’re shallow, this may hurt.
While I go puke the depths of humanity from my bowels, let me leave you with one of my favorite gifs from Flux Machine:
Make sure to check out the artist’s other work.
I’m not one to post mash-ups. Unless it’s Ghost-Gangnam Busters, on an already 80’s-riffic day.
US News reports of a clash between skaters and police.
In additional, upcoming news reports.
- A lost group of teenagers free an ancient pirate ship while simultaneously taking down a band of bank robbers.
- Two teenage boys discover how to create life from a Barbie doll.
- Ricardo Montalban got all up in William Shatner‘s grill.
- A stunning, left at the altar, moment for the Prince of Florin.
Seriously, why do we even have ’80’s movies if we’re not going to learn from them?
So much for the no child left behind approach to education.