Category Archives: Poetry

NPR Snap Judgement Winner

A lot of people are talking about Noah St. John’s Snap Judgement performance (video below). He won NPR’s spoken word performance of the year and it is really awesome to watch.

I’m glad he’s getting a lot of attention, he definitely deserves it. But I think it’s unfair for this to be described as a performance about how he was raised by two moms, because it isn’t, at least not really. The fact is that he has two moms, but it’s about growing up, fearing the end of your parents’ relationship, and those ridiculous moments that make being a family so very important.

There are moments that speak to the awesomeness of being gay, but this one speaks to the awesomeness of family. It’s poetry.



Spam Poetry: Haiku

Holy shite!

I got a spam comment that was a perfect haiku. I shite you not. (See, it’s not swearing if it’s British.)

I did a little editing with the punctuation, but the word order is exactly as received. So suck on this piece of wisdom!

Incredible points
Outstanding arguments keep
Up the good spirit

Crazy how these things appear when you start looking for them.

Disclaimer Poem

I received a spam email from a dating site, for which I have not signed up. In the email was a rather lengthy disclaimer, which I thought odd, since I hadn’t actually signed up for the site.

So I took the opportunity to edit the disclaimer down to a little poem (for better or for worse). I included the full disclaimer at the bottom of the page, if you’re bored and want to read it.

I took liberties with the punctuation too.


We strive to deliver people.

We understand permission
Is not always perceived
By providers and recipients.

If reason delivered you to the bottom,
Please be aware, that information
Remains while supplies last.
(Availability at the discretion of the provider)

Please visit the website,
Review the relevant product,
Where you will find
Information unsuitable

Restrictions may apply.
Change the discretion,
The provider,
You[r] wish.

While we strive to deliver emails only to those people who want them, we understand that providing permission is not always perceived in the same way by providers and recipients. If for any reason you feel this email has been delivered to you in error please do not hesitate to let us know either by following the links at the bottom of this message to remove you from the sending list, or by replying to this email and telling us you prefer not to receive this kind of message. Please be aware, however, that in signing up for information, products, and services on the web you sometimes also provide permission to receive information about similar products and services from other providers. Please always pay careful attention to the implications detailed on any signup form concerning your personal information and how it may be used. In signing up for information, products and services on the web you sometimes also provide permission to receive information about similar products and services from other providers. Any marks used herein are property of their respective owners and no claim is made to usurp any standard rights of possession. This opportunity detailed above remains good only while supplies last, availability is at the discretion of the provider and is also subject to change or cancellation at any time. Please visit the website and review the relevant product pages for full details of availability and conditions where you will also find extensive information unsuitable for conveying in this message due to length. Restrictions may apply and are subject to change at any time at the discretion of the provider, again please refer to the website in order to obtain full details if you wish to know more.

Spam Poetry

Below is the first of what I hope to make a popular series… Spam Comment Poetry!

The following was taken from a spam comment on an article about HIV infection rates. As you’ll notice, there’s a symbolic connection between to post and the comment – total poetry in action!

Watching the Watch Men

Celebrities have shown
Throughout history that
They can have unique tastes
In wristwatches.

There a host of
Luxury watches
That are affordable and
Not necessarily limited editions
That can be purchased

Without having to spend
An alarming
And jaw dropping
Amount as well.
The design of watch

You select
Are often work connected in order
That it must be rugged
Otherwise you could also be longing
For a luxury

Measuring system for a night
On the city.*

*Linebreaks and line capitalization are mine. No other changes have been made.

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