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2013 Resolutions – Week 3

A quick recap on the 2013 Resolutions to date…

Smoking – Not a cigarette has touched these lips. That said, I tried having a beer for the first time, since the new year, this past week and immediately wanted to smoke. So beer is a trigger and it’s still off the list. On the plus side, I had a vodka tonic and didn’t have the urge to smoke. Hard liquor it is, baby!

Also, one of my triggers is anger and frustration. It’s my usual downfall. This week, I basically had someone hit the giant red “Do Not Push Unless You Want to End the World in a Fiery Cloud of Anger” button that sits on my forehead (it’s a lot sexier than you’d think); but, I made it through the rest of the day without smoking. And I’m talking, they hit that shit at 9 am.

Reading Poetry – I read 12 more poems this week. I read a few by the Inaugural poet Richard Blanco, whose work I find solid, deep, and nostalgic, like wandering back through a powerful memory. I recommend his work for new readers of poetry. You can find his works on his site, as well as audio of his reading his work. Here are the poems I read (if you’re at all interested):

Looking for the Gulf Motel – Richard Blanco
El Florida Room – Richard Blanco
Her Kind – Anne Sexton
A Supermarket in California – Allen Ginsberg
The Romantic Dogs – Roberto Bolano
Self Portrait at Twenty Years – Roberto Bolano
Resurrection – Roberto Bolano
In the Reading Room of Hell – Roberto Bolano
Soni – Roberto Bolano
Ernesto Cardenal and I – Roberto Bolano
Day Bleeding Rain – Roberto Bolano
The Worm – Roberto Bolano

Roberto Bolano is one of my favorite poets of all time. Blanco is Cuban American, Bolano grew up during the Chilean revolution. I apparently like poets that have lives predicated on cultural transitions.

Running – Bitch, please, I have this shit locked up! I’m actually half of a mile ahead of schedule, clocking in at 38.55 miles, as of yesterday. I’ll get my next two (maybe three) done today, once the gym opens.

Blogging, writing, creating – Another bad week in this department and I’m actually sliding backwards, because I didn’t get a single blog entry posted. I’m going with “life’s been screwy this week,” but that can no longer be a reason, otherwise it’ll suddenly be October and I’ll have no chance at making up for lost time.

Recap – As is usual with resolutions, I find some moving to the front of the pack and others lagging behind. This difficulty is, it’s usually the ones that lag behind that are the ones I want to make the most progress on.

Except for quitting smoking. That is the top priority this year. It’s done, it’s over with. I want one of my 2014 goals to be, “Continue not smoking.” That seems as easy as taking a shit as far as resolutions go.

I eat a lot of fiber (being a vegetarian), so “easy as taking a shit” is pretty fucking easy.


2013 Resolutions: Update Deux

Good day my good friends!

How are your New Year’s Resolutions going? I hope as well as mine have been – because remember, it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress!

So here’s my honesty update on each resolution…

Quit Smoking

No cigarettes yet, baby!

I’m actually very proud of this, especially given that we had a bachelor party to go to last Saturday, where copious amounts of liquor were consumed. For those of you who don’t know, liquor and smoking go together like fish and gills – so I had anticipated faltering.

One of the tricks to quitting smoking is to remove every trigger possible. So, aside from the bachelor party, I have not had any alcohol (okay, maybe a glass of wine at the opera last night, but that doesn’t count). I’ve also quit drinking coffee, as that’s another trigger for me.

And I’m also that person who, when walking down the street and seeing a smoker, consciously thinks, “Uggg, that’s so disgusting and it smells so bad! Gross!” I’m not usually one for judgement of that scale, but as little as any of us like to admit it, negative reinforcement works.


Okay, so I’m a little behind on this one. For my average, I should have completed 24 miles by the end of today. Unfortunately, I’m only at 19.5 miles, but seriously, that’s still pretty awesome and will be easily be made up over the next week (assuming I don’t injure myself).

I had a few days this week where either I was hungover (see bachelor party mention in previous resolution), overslept, or had early client meetings. Since I workout in the mornings, my workouts got blown.

But these things happen, which is why my resolutions are never daily activities. One bad day and your perfect score for the year is ruined.

Reading Poetry

Another one that I’m on top of. In the last week, I’ve read 22 poems, bringing my grand total to 30 poems read so far this year, which puts me ahead of the one a day goal. Below is the list of poems I’ve read this week, and as I warned you last week, there would be a slew of Marcus Wicker poems. (If you’re into reading poetry, I highly recommend his new book of poems.)

Self-Dialogue Watching Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip – Marcus Wicker
Love Letter to RuPaul- Marcus Wicker
Love Letter to Justin Timberlake – Marcus Wicker
Love Letter to Pam Grier – Marcus Wiker
Love Letter to Jim Kelly – Marcus Wicker
1999 – Marcus Wicker
Oblivious Spring – Marcus Wicker
About the Time Two Ducks Advised me on Matters of the Flesh – Marcus Wicker
Interrupting Aubade Ending in Epiphany – Marcus Wicker
Everything I Know About Jazz I Learned from Kenny G – Marcus Wicker
Self-Dialogue Camping at Yellowwood State Forest – Marcus Wicker
To a White Friend Who WOnders Why I Don’t Spend More Time Pontificating the N Word – Marcus Wicker
Love Letter to Bruce LeRoy – Marcus Wicker
Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night – Dylan Thomas
The Great Lament Of My Obscurity Three – Tristan Tzara
To Make A Dadist Poem – Tristan Tzara
Proclamation Without Pretension – Tristan Tzara
Imperial – T.R. Hummer
Pandrol Jackson – T.R. Hummer
Bloodflower Sermon – T.R. Hummer
Maybe (for Craig) – Richard Blanco
Daffy Duck In Hollywood – John Ashbury

Post 365 Blog Entries

This is blog post number 15 for 2013. So I’m ahead of schedule.

Let’s all hope I’m not suffering from Premature Posting Syndrome. Don’t want to blow that too early, amirite?

The Rest

All right, so I’m still behind on writing poems, working on the novel, and creating some sort of visual piece of artwork. But, my hope is that today I can make a little headway so that next week I can at least say I’m further along than I was on January 1st.

Have a great rest of the day and let me know how your resolutions are going!

Spam Poetry: Haiku

Holy shite!

I got a spam comment that was a perfect haiku. I shite you not. (See, it’s not swearing if it’s British.)

I did a little editing with the punctuation, but the word order is exactly as received. So suck on this piece of wisdom!

Incredible points
Outstanding arguments keep
Up the good spirit

Crazy how these things appear when you start looking for them.

2013 Resolutions: Week 1

Today is the first update on my 2013 Resolutions, and so far, things are going pretty good. Here are the highlights:

Quit Smoking

It’s now been 6 days since my last cigarette. I’ve had a few cravings here and there, but so far it’s been going pretty smoothly. I’ve been able to avoid three of my main triggers: coffee, alcohol, and sudden onset stress. That said, I may be single-handedly keeping the chewing gum industry in business.

My big challenge is coming tonight. We’re going to a bachelor party at a local club, with friends that smoke. I may have to be lame and simply drink water and coke all night. *Grumble*

I’d like to say I feel amazing – but I have a sinus infection or something – so basically, I feel like shit.

Run 730 Miles this year

So far, I’ve run 7. To stay on track I need to run another 3 this afternoon.

7 miles doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s more than I’ve run in the last several months. I’m wondering if my “sinus infection” is really my body’s way of saying, “stop running and start smoking, I don’t like change!”

My body can be a bit of a whiny bastard sometimes.

Read 365 Poems

This has actually become one of my most enjoyed resolutions so far. Most poems are relatively short, so they can be enjoyed slowly, like a nice cup of coffee. This week, I’ve read the following:

The Darkling Thrush by Thomas Hardy
A Season in Hell by Arthur Rimbaud
Falling and Flying by Jack Gilbert
Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath
A Horse Grazes in My Shadow by Matt Rasmussen
Daddy by Sylvia Plath
To You by Marcus Wicker
Love Letter to Flavor Flav by Marcus Wicker

Expect more Marcus Wicker poems on my next list. I just bought his first book of poetry, Maybe the Saddest Thing, and so far it is wonderful.

Post 365 Blog Entries

This is actually post number 6 – so I’m totally on track.

The Rest

I’m afraid I haven’t done much in the “creating” department this week. There haven’t been any new poems (aside from the Disclaimer Poem that came this morning, but since that was a result of editing, I’m not sure that I’ll count it). No visual art pieces and no work done on the novel.

But that’s okay. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you can’t tackle all resolutions at once. Strong progress on 4 out of 7 is a pretty good first week I think.

I hope your year is going well so far!

Disclaimer Poem

I received a spam email from a dating site, for which I have not signed up. In the email was a rather lengthy disclaimer, which I thought odd, since I hadn’t actually signed up for the site.

So I took the opportunity to edit the disclaimer down to a little poem (for better or for worse). I included the full disclaimer at the bottom of the page, if you’re bored and want to read it.

I took liberties with the punctuation too.


We strive to deliver people.

We understand permission
Is not always perceived
By providers and recipients.

If reason delivered you to the bottom,
Please be aware, that information
Remains while supplies last.
(Availability at the discretion of the provider)

Please visit the website,
Review the relevant product,
Where you will find
Information unsuitable

Restrictions may apply.
Change the discretion,
The provider,
You[r] wish.

While we strive to deliver emails only to those people who want them, we understand that providing permission is not always perceived in the same way by providers and recipients. If for any reason you feel this email has been delivered to you in error please do not hesitate to let us know either by following the links at the bottom of this message to remove you from the sending list, or by replying to this email and telling us you prefer not to receive this kind of message. Please be aware, however, that in signing up for information, products, and services on the web you sometimes also provide permission to receive information about similar products and services from other providers. Please always pay careful attention to the implications detailed on any signup form concerning your personal information and how it may be used. In signing up for information, products and services on the web you sometimes also provide permission to receive information about similar products and services from other providers. Any marks used herein are property of their respective owners and no claim is made to usurp any standard rights of possession. This opportunity detailed above remains good only while supplies last, availability is at the discretion of the provider and is also subject to change or cancellation at any time. Please visit the website and review the relevant product pages for full details of availability and conditions where you will also find extensive information unsuitable for conveying in this message due to length. Restrictions may apply and are subject to change at any time at the discretion of the provider, again please refer to the website in order to obtain full details if you wish to know more.

New Year’s Resolutions

I’m a bit distracted today and as a result, I don’t have wonderfully witty things to say. Perhaps it was a bit of cheese from last night or the scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning – you know, a simple digestion issue that’s causing the ghosts of past, present, and future to converge on this little Chicago apartment.

But I guess that’s how many of us experience New Year’s Day. A day to figure out how to reposition our lives, so they are more of what we imagine they can be and less of what they have been, all through figuring out how to reconfigure our Now.

So in order to get myself back on track, I’ve come up with the following list of resolutions:

1) Quit smoking – I know, it’s gross, disgusting and I do wish I’d never started. I’ve tried to quit before, fingers crossed this is the year.

2) Run 730 miles this year – My workouts tend to focus on weightlifting, but I need to have more cardio. Also when I run, I crave cigarettes less. So win/win! Why 730? Because it comes out to 2 miles a day.

3) Read 365 poems – Usually I have a list of books to read. This year, I want to try to produce more than I consume – so I’m going to bone up on poetry.

4) Write 52 poems – They’ll probably be at the level of my famous 10th grade emo poem “Black Wax Melting Into a Pool of Self.”

5) Finish the novel I started for NaNoWriMo – I already have 210 pages. I’d like to finish a coherent rough draft by the end of the year.

6) Post 365 blog posts this year – They may not be daily, but there will be 365 of them.

7) Create 52 pieces of visual art – I’ve always had an interest in drawing, painting, sculpture, and photography, so this year I’m going to try to create a few pieces (good or bad) to help me get a feel for the process. So if you’re cute and like to pose naked, call me.

So to keep myself honest, I’ll post about my progress once a week here, so feel free to ignore those posts since it’s always dull to see some be so awesomely successful and ass-kicking.

Spam Poetry

Below is the first of what I hope to make a popular series… Spam Comment Poetry!

The following was taken from a spam comment on an article about HIV infection rates. As you’ll notice, there’s a symbolic connection between to post and the comment – total poetry in action!

Watching the Watch Men

Celebrities have shown
Throughout history that
They can have unique tastes
In wristwatches.

There a host of
Luxury watches
That are affordable and
Not necessarily limited editions
That can be purchased

Without having to spend
An alarming
And jaw dropping
Amount as well.
The design of watch

You select
Are often work connected in order
That it must be rugged
Otherwise you could also be longing
For a luxury

Measuring system for a night
On the city.*

*Linebreaks and line capitalization are mine. No other changes have been made.

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